Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
