well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
