I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
should my penis look like a turkey
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
