never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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