i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
smell my finger.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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