So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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