After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Randomize
