problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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