i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
