don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
