opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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