id be glad to
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Randomize
