what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
