you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
