No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
