He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
