It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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