Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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