i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
