Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
