We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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