she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
