when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
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