K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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