how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
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