I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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