this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
