There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I think people are normalizing furries
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
