...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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