I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
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