So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Congratulations! We have a period
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize