also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
