this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
