Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?

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(44): View more from England

What's everyones problem with my costume?!

(1-44): View more from England

It looks like a unicorn came on your face.

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(228): View more from Mississippi

they just did a mariachi cover of free bird

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(913): View more from Kansas

It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.

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(573): View more from Missouri

What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.

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(614): View more from Ohio

I peed in front of kids, unfortunately

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(727): View more from Florida

We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.

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