I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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