Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
