some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
