Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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