How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
