GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
