yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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