remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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