i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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