thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
