all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
