I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
