So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
