I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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