Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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