Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
